OH WHERE OH WHERE HAS MY LITTLE DOG GONE..OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN SHE BE???

Nice little song huh? But, I'm afraid the reality of the situation is that Maggie is out Whoring around with some male dog that came by and swept her off her feet (or paws). I spent two hours this morning driving around and talking to my neighbors looking for her. Gee, let's see, we put in invisible fence to keep her off the roads, but I didn't consider the "slut" syndrome!! I should of gotten her spayed, but kind of held out a hope to have her bred. Gee, I wonder what a Corgi and Rottweiler cross would look like. In my very detailed detective work, I can see that a rather LARGE dog was visiting here, he left his tracks all over my garden and yard. I hope the bastard gets one hell of a crotch cramp when he bends down to do the short legged wonder!
Im mad at her, but do hope she comes to her senses and comes home....then it will be a quick trip to Doc Byer for some much needed surgery. Oh, the embarassment of it all!!
Looking forward to my trip to Des Moines tomorrow, I not only get to spend the day with my "sales crazed" husband, but look forward to seeing my two little girls too (and their guys). We are planning a nice day at the fair......hmmmm corn dogs. I may even try the new craze, a deep fried snickers.....my idea about 10 years ago, ya know!! Jessica can vouch for me on this one!! Oh, I can hear the sound of the loud speaker in the air.....come on ladies and gentlemen step right up here and have a look at these knives, they never need sharpening!!! Pots and Pans the like you have never seen!! Am I the only one that likes to go to the fair and listen to these obnoxious loud vendors selling their wares.....probably, I confess to even enjouing info-mercials on cable. One things for sure, I will surely walk out of there with newly cleaned and polised glasses..that guys is alway there. Then it is off to the Agriculture building to inspect this years crop of vegetables from the garden...oh boy, peppers, onions, green beans, etc etc. You girls are surely lucky to have a mother that really hits the bright spots!!
Well, I best finish up my claims so I can have a free mind of guilt while carrousing through the displays tomorrow..and I suppose I should go check of Miss Maggie the slut has returned home.....gees, I already have enough to worry about with my husbands new found obsession...did I mention he got a special sales award yesterday for going beyond the call of duty when selling a shotgun??? Oh yes, two old boys from southern Iowa came in to by a rifle, but thought Scheels was too expensive.....by the time they left, they both bought one and Kurts manager was absolutely amazed, so he gave him a "on the spot reward"....I think Im screwed!!!!
Until next time.....MOM